While cleaning my room.

Chaos! That’s what you will see if you happen to enter my room. My room, as usual, is in a condition that looks as if it has already crossed 21st December, 2012 . But that’s not the state in which it always is. I do happen to clean it once in a while, so that it looks like it is in the current year.

Yesterday, once again, I decided to bring my room back from 2012 to 2009.

I decided to clean my cupboard first, which has 3 vertical cabinets for clothes, accessories, etc., and two drawers at the base of the cabinets. The upper drawer has the stuff which needs to be discarded on immediate basis (though that ‘immediate’ phase lasts for months), while the lower one has stuff that needs ‘rethinking’ before discarding it.

The upper drawer was the one that I started with.

The book of GHASTLY poems

While cleaning the upper drawer, I came across this book of poems in English. It was titled "I, Me and Myself - Depressing Poems To Gain Sympathy"

The book brought back a lot of memories. Memories of its so called ‘launch’ at the self-crowned ‘poet’s place. Memories of how the people present there were embarrassed when this ‘poet’ read one of his ‘works’. Memories of how people lost their appetite once they heard the poem. Memories of how the poet started posing with the book in his hand, and an absolutely fake but usual smile on his face, when some strange-looking person started clicking pictures. Memories of the reluctant applaud by the ‘audience’. Memories about the people who were forced to buy it. Memories of how an uninvited guest, who was hated by the 'poet', was allowed to attend the 'launch' on the condition that he buys the book and appreciates it.

And then all all of those who had bought the book wanted to read it. Well, they would definitely want to read it; they were made to pay for it. But little did they know of the consequences of spending Rs.250/- on an unknown ‘poet’s but a known friend’s ‘collection’ of ‘poems’.

They started to read it, very unwillingly though. And then hell...broke loose.

The after-effects of reading the book surfaced on the following morning. All those who had bought the book had to rush to their family physician. The physician himself treated the ones who had bought the book and had just seen its cover. The ones who had survived the cover and the end of the Contents page were advised to see a psychiatrist for suffering from severe depression. But those who survived both the cover and the Contents page, and had read the beginning of the first ‘poem’ were admitted to the Neurology department of a hospital for major physical damage to their brain.

I vaguely remember having heard a few months back – the next edition of this book will have a coupon attached to each copy. The coupon will offer FREE LIFETIME CONSULTATION AND TREATMENT BY some unKNOWN PSYCHIATRISTS AND NEUROLOGISTS for everyone who buys it.